I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
