She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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