I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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