we have pet lesbian snakes
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I smell stomach acid.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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