it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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