Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
