i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
