it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
