i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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