Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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