Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
