I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
