Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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