Who wears a wallet chain?!
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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