Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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