oh god the rape fog is back!
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
