Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(479): View more from Arkansas

if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey

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(253): View more from Washington

Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.

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(937): View more from Ohio

Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"

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(630): View more from Illinois

It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.

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(514): View more from Quebec

She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.

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(585): View more from New York

90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor

(202): View more from Washington, DC

100% proud

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