You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
