I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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