my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
