do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Let's paint friendship bongs
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
