You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
