dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
