I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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