Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
