Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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