no you cant smoke seaweed
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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