How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
