i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
