Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
