Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
