I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
