I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
he laminated a picture of his dick.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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