Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
There r osticjed everywhere
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
