I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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