I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
