Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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