Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
