im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
