Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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