Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
