you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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