Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i came on her dog
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
