You made me cry and you don't even care
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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