therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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