I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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