I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
When are your genitals available?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
