You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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