if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Send help, water and tortillas.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
