Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
